life on the fence: it's been a long time

can you consider yourself a victim if you voluntarily engage in behavior that is bound to backfire? i'd like to consider myself a victim (or hostage?), but quite frankly, it's my own fault. been thinking about this blog lately, and feeling a little guilty for my neglect of it. facebook has captivated my attention these days, making this little 'ole blog feel outdated and a bit obsolete. but, while facebook is fun and interactive, i realized this morning that it has made me feel a bit superficial. lengthy heartfelt posts about spiritual insights or life happenings have given way to one sentence status updates or quick comments in between scrabble moves. genuine insight into where i'm at in my journey has given way to quick blurbs about what i had for lunch or how i'm really glad it's friday.

maybe it doesn't matter all that much. those who visit my blog are probably the handful that i actually communicate with on a semi-regular basis anyway and who already understand the way i think. they're already in the know about how i'm trying to rediscover my passion for the faith, how i have no idea who the next president should be, how concerned i am that chris and i haven't been able to get pregnant, how i'm desperate to focus my career on my consulting biz, how there's the possibility of chris getting a job out of state, how i've really failed at my lenten commitment this year, how i live for the weekends because they bring a little respite and rest, how i've recommitted myself to eating better and getting back in shape, or how glad i am my brother is moving back to missouri. they're the people i walk life with.

in this way, i guess this thing has come full circle. it started as a way to keep in better touch and now that i'm in better touch it's a little less necessary. oh, i'll probably continue to stop by and dump an occasional thought or insight, but it will probably just be a little less frequent than it was. which, when considering the date of my last post, is saying a lot.